Born to a virgin transvestite mother named Steve who was impregnated by the Egyptian sun god Ra.
The previous mentioned transvestite mother was unhappy with my birth, and tossed me off a mountain far out in the deserts of Africa.
I survived.
I was then raised by lions until the age of fourteen.
I then left the harsh deserts of Africa and joined rebel alliance.
Many years later, I was exiled to space after destroying Atlantis.
I died a lonely death on the moon.
Years later I rose from my shallow grave under the ocean floor on the moon to take revenge upon the world.
That idea was soon scrapped. Now I draw crappy webcomics.
Some parts of this may or may not be true.